The long awaited day which i have been dreaming day and night for it is finally here.
Maybe people will say im not realistic and all but it really did not turn out like it 'should be'.
I could really find no one to turn to, so here i am holding back my tears and saying all out cos i might not be able to take it.
I definitely am not perfect, never will i be.
I keep trying to learn, to be a better person, but questions might be sensitive and methods are often wrong, people gets offended and it all falls on me.
Maybe you might feel that i feel the world is against me but i really dont feel that way, cause i know there are those who supports me too. I really need enlightenment but i guess it usually comes in a hard way.
And i ask myself why cant i just get it in my head, i hate myself for not being able to do that.
Yes i need to love myself before others can love me but how.
Honestly im afraid that i might make one more wrong move in the upcoming days and being unable to rectify it, and i really dont want to cause any unhappiness to people i love. I hope i will be able to bring laughter and enjoyment to all around me. & i definitely hope i will be able to stay happy w Hans.
This is a lengthy one cos i am able to just pour everything out, thank you blog. I will wanna conquer all the difficulties i might face and live w my loved ones from now, but there will be many many 'buts'. May you 'buts' be gone, im afraid i might not be able to counter you all afterall.
